I just got back from a weekend trip to Chicago, a place I used to call home. My last visit there for at least 28 months. I thoroughly enjoyed my visit, spent with a very dear friend (or three). I cherished the moments, knowing that the next ones would not be for quite awhile. I visited my favorite restaurants and savored the sushi, Ethiopian, and vegan cuisines that I so adore and also had the opportunity to try and fall in love with Nepalese food as well. I saw a movie, did some dancing, saw a pretty darn good band play, met new people, visited some of my favorite secondhand stores, and spent some much-needed quality time with one of my very best friends.
It has been recommended to me to enjoy the time I have in America while I'm here, as that is the one thing that I will not be able to do in Armenia. I am doing just that. However, I've found that my mind is definitely not in America 100% of the time, as everything I do seems somehow relevant to my leaving or my future in Armenia. I find myself looking at coffee tables or wall art thinking: "What an inappropriate purchase that would be right now." I stop in the middle of the grocery store and look at the vast amounts of variety and selection and am immediately aware that no matter what time of year, all of this will always be available here in my little American town. I wonder what my grocery shopping experiences will be like two months from now or ten months from now, I wonder who I am going to be conversing with, I wonder how I am going to be conversing and in what degree of accuracy and understanding.
The days are inching closer, and I'm consciously trying to maintain a moderate-to-low stress level. What I am experiencing is akin to being in the eye of a storm. The feelings of joy, excitement, impatience, melancholy, and about a zillion others are rushing through me at any given moment. I'm thankful that I am mindful enough to allow these feelings flow through me rather than try to hold them and find myself overwhelmed. And also thankful that I am mindful enough to remember why I have chosen this path: peace peace peace.
Om shanti shanti shanti
